- Writer: I've planned and plotted this novel. I know what's going to happen, and I know my characters like the back of my hand.
- Main character: Lol no
- Writer: What - what are you doing. You aren't supposed to do that.
- Main character: wanna do it
- Side character: hey you don't mind if I ruin this thing do you
- Writer: STOP IT.
- Main character: brb gonna steel a boat lol
- Writer: I MADE YOU DO AS I SAY.
- Whole book: LOL NO.
Dear friend, if you are a writer — particularly a young writer — who is reading this right now, I want you to promise me something. Are you ready? l want you to promise me that you will stay away from epithets when you are talking about characters who know one another’s names.
You do not need to say, “the blond man.” You do not need to say “the older man,” or “the taller man,” or “the smaller man.” You definitely do not need to transform adjectives into nouns and say things like, “the older,” “the younger,” or lord forbid, “the other.” (Unless you are writing the kind of academic paper that cites Lacan or bell hooks, in which using the other/Other is allowed, and also important).
I know it might seem repetitive, but using names and pronouns is enough. They are the kinds of words that fade into the rhythm of your writing, and they will never stand out to your reader. They are the words that make sense.
When you look at your friends, you’re not thinking of them as “the red-headed woman,” or “the shorter person.” You’re probably thinking something like, “Natasha’s hair is getting so long,” or, “she looks beautiful today,” or “Jamie’s got a great shirt.” You think of people’s pronouns. You think of their names. And that is what your character does, too.
Not sure why they had to say “particularly a young writer” but I totally agree with the rest of this.
never forget who was offered the role of gambit MORE THAN ONCE and turned it down
NEVER FORGET WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN
WHAT? Now THAT I would have been on board with.
PSA if you send me nice messages and i don’t respond
there is a 100% chance i saw it and it made me super duper uber happy but i have no idea how to respond and i will let it sit in my inbox for days or weeks and smile when i see it but still have no idea how to respond
there is a 0% chance that you annoyed me and i don’t like you.
There’s a special place in hell for people who leave empty toilet paper rolls on the holder for the next person.